The ’90s called. They want their stupid toy back. We said “Fuck no.”

Slap bracelets have returned, proving once again that everything from your childhood eventually comes back around…except your metabolism and the ability to hold your alcohol.

Give it a smack and it curls around your wrist.

Fun!

Do it again.

Still fun!

Do it another 300 times beside your parent while they’re trying to drive.

Congratulations, you’ve transformed a nostalgic accessory into a compelling argument for birth control.

Perfect for prizes, birthdays, Allstar Bus days, and teaching today’s youth how we entertained ourselves before every child carried a $1000 glowing rectangle.

SLAP. SNAP. REPEAT.

Until eventually Mom screams:

“IF YOU SLAP THAT FUCKING THING ONE MORE TIME, IT’S GOING OUT THE WINDOW.”

Ahhhhhh, memories. Good times. Good times.