Finally: Allstar Bus merchandise for the people actually paying for all this fucking shit.

You bought the classes. You bought the water bottle. You bought the shirt. You bought the backpack. You bought the Croc thing.

You have personally financed enough childhood enrichment to qualify for some kind of tax credit that unfortunately does not exist.

Treat yourself.

The Allstar Bus Adult T-Shirt lets parents, grandparents, staff, and other grown-ups represent without looking like they raided the children’s section during an emotional breakdown.

Wear it to pickup. Wear it to the grocery store.

Wear it while drinking coffee in your driveway for five extra minutes because technically the kids are buckled in and nobody needs you right this second.

Multiple colors and logo styles are available, making it easy to find something that pairs beautifully with jeans, shorts, leggings, or the thousand yard stare of a parent who just spent twenty minutes arguing with a four-year-old about which fucking cup is the blue cup.

Your kid gets gymnastics. You get a shirt.

And maybe tonight, after bedtime, a drink and fifteen glorious minutes where nobody fucking bothers you.

You’ve earned it.